Sunday, June 17, 2012

Week 25 - How long was your engagement? Write about any trials during this time. Write about preparations for the wedding.

As I mentioned in last week's post (yesterday), Kelly and I were engaged for two months.  Kelly and I were both in a situation where we were both ready to get married and once we chose each other to be married to we just made it happen. 

I'm not sure how it usually happens, but Kelly and I pretty well took care of all of the arrangements.  We decided to change all of the things we thought were customary that we didn't necessarily like and do things our way, because it was our day.  This did cause some inconvenience for some of our family members that didn't live near the Salt Lake Temple, but it was our day.


Kelly was working odd shifts at Primary Children's Medical Center at the time.  She'd work some days and some nights.  That is just how they did it on the surgical floor where where she was working as a nurse.  This made for some interesting planning sessions.  We sent quite a few emails back and forth.  Kelly only worked three days a week, but they were odd hours and 12-hour shifts.  This meant that though she might only work three days, she would be recovering another few days.  If it was after a night shift she'd sleep through the day and then try to get herself back on a normal schedule for the next shift. Why they allowed the nurses to work this way I do not know.  You'd think they'd have them either work night or day shifts, but it wasn't that way.  It actually ended up causing Kelly to have some weird heart rhythms a few years after we were married to the point that she quit working at Primary's even though she loved it there.

These odd shifts and odd hours of togetherness made for some interesting times and I think caused quite a bit of anxiety inside of Kelly.  As we were courting and spending every waking hour together that we could and then fitting in sleep between these weird schedules, Kelly had some rough times.  I know her dad helped out quite a bit and she spent quite a bit of time in the temple.  For some reason, I didn't experience any of this and I was pretty calm and supportive through the whole thing.  Kelly might tell you otherwise, but that's how I remember it.  I don't recall this causing any question on if we'd get married, it was more just anxiety of that we were going to get married and it was for real.

Kelly and I made most of the arrangements for our wedding. We picked out a little quaint diner that one of my work friends had told me about for our wedding dinner.  Everyone that was invited to our ceremony and a few other family members were invited to the dinner at Em's Cafe on Capitol Hill.  There was seating for about 50 people and we had the place packed.  We arranged for our flowers from a little floral shop in Sugarhouse.  They took excellent care of us.  We decided to only do the ceremony on our wedding day as we wanted to enjoy the day.  Everyone we had spoken to did the wedding and luncheon and a reception on one day and they were worn out at the end of the day.  After the mid-morning ceremony, we did pictures with everyone that was there and a few of just us, then we left town for our honeymoon in Logan, Utah and Afton, Wyoming.  We did a reception at our home a week or so later after we returned.


That brings up another interesting thing as far as wedding preparations go.  We both we pretty established in good jobs with our undergraduate degrees completed.  We both didn't want to rent, so we also decided we'd be buying a house in those few months as we prepared for a wedding.  This wasn't really a stressful thing, though I'm sure there was more stress than I remember.  The biggest thing was we knew the type of neighborhood we wanted to live in and we thought we knew the only neighborhoods that existed.  The tough part was that those neighborhoods were all well out of our price range.  I remember after browsing through most of the neighborhoods at $400k and $500k homes that were two and three bedrooms homes we both were a little frustrated.  We actually came across a small home in the mid $300s that we were set on figuring out that if we both stayed employed full-time we'd be able to make it happen.  That's when reality set in and we were able to come back to Earth and realize that we wanted Kelly to be at home with our kids when they came into the picture and we didn't want to be strapped to something that would keep us that tight.

It was near a miracle when we drove up 1200 South in Bountiful one night.  We were both talking.  Mid-sentence we both stopped.  I stopped the car in the middle of the road.  I got out of the car and grabbed a flier in front of a for sale by owner home.  It was a tiny home with huge trees and it was so cute.  I don't recall if we ever pulled the car out of the road, but we looked through the windows and as we were on the phone with the person selling it, told him we'd give him what he was asking.  It was so perfect.  It wasn't scary at all.  Whether it came from shock of all of the other homes we had seen than finding this one at under half the price, or if it was where we needed to be it doesn't matter.  Everything worked out perfectly and smooth just as our relationship had done.

So, there you have it.  Met, engaged, married, bought a home in four months time.  Crazy, eh.  Crazy, but perfect.  I think this is the type of fairy tale that should be in a book someday.  Forget all the drama that Hollywood thinks we need to have in our lives, this is for real.


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