Balance is an interesting thing that applies in all areas of life. I think it is most commonly referred to in nutrition or food choice. One area that I have come to understand moderation is important is in family as well.
One thing that drew me to Kelly was the Register family. I remember as we were getting to know each other and then dating/courting we had numerous conversation about how I loved how close her family was. Kelly and her sisters do everything together. They talk nearly every day. She does the same with her mom and her dad. In the first month that Kelly and I knew each other, I think I met each and every one of her cousins, uncles, aunts, and grandparents multiple times. After two months I could name most of them. Not that there is only a few, we were just with them all that often. There were monthly birthday parties, random gatherings, regular dinners, etc.
I remember loving this, because I want to have a close family. I want my house to be the hang out spot. I want to have my kids want to bring their friends to my house. I think there is great strength in keeping a family close like that - maybe it is the micro manager in me coming out.
I don't recall growing up this way. I do know that I felt comfortable at home. I do remember having my friends over at our house multiple times. Maybe it is as we have grown older that we have all gone our separate ways. But, to contrast a little, in my family we don't get together that often. I'd be surprised if I speak with my siblings once a month. My parents who are on a mission in the Philippines have noted that since they left on their mission they feel like they speak more often with me. I think we all know that we are there for each other if needed, but we function totally independent of each other.
Kelly and I have been married now for coming on six years. I'd be lying if I said I still enjoyed all of the family gatherings. Kelly would call me on it as well. I've gone a little over the edge to where I think Kelly even dreads bringing up that there is another family gathering - its actually something I'm working on.
Moderation is just as important in family as it is in nutrition. I can't say that I enjoy not ever seeing my brothers and sisters. I miss them. I don't dwell on missing them, but sometimes I just want to sit down and chat with them or give them a big brother hug. At the same time, I can't say I enjoy getting together multiple times in a week with the Registers. It is interesting how family dynamics are different.
I love the Registers. I've gained two crazy sisters. One functions very similar to me, but she thinks quite a bit deeper that I do, the other is the bubbly outgoing person that loves everyone that I aspire to be. Dad Register has a level of understanding of the Book of Mormon that I aspire to and he can keep up with this thirty something guy on a bike any day of the week at mid-50s. I hope I can do that in twenty years from now. Mom Register is not only a trooper, she is one of the most caring individuals I have met in my life.
The Registers have filled in holes that were existing in my life. They make me want to be a better brother, son, dad, and father.
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