I've wondered quite a bit about how mom and dad disciplined me now that I am raising kids of my own. Not too many things stick out, but I do know that I wanted to be good. I don't know that I feared my parents, but I do know that I did not want to disappoint them. I recall often thinking, "if I do this, dad will be disappointed. So, I won't do it." It was kind of the "what would Jesus do" thought I guess. I don't think that my parents were perfect. In fact, I knew that they weren't perfect. I knew that they made mistakes and it seems like we talked about that. I understood that it was ok to make mistakes, but that you had to repair the damage done when you did make a mistake.
Every morning during the school year, at 6:00 a.m., or just before, Mom or Dad would come and knock on our doors to wake us up. Sometimes there was a whistle of sorts, or a gentle "time to read" reminder. We sat together reading the scriptures for 15-20 minutes and then it was go time. Mom would get breakfast going and all the kids would take turns getting showered and ready for school. Amy and Jason would be at a mad dash to get out the door first for school, then the rest of us would follow.
During the summer, the early mornings did not stop. In fact, after a few weeks, I think some of us thought it'd be better to be in school. The 6:00 a.m. might have slid to 6:30 a.m., but I don't recall. After scripture study in the summer we'd be out in the garden making rows, planting, weeding, watering and harvesting all of the vegetables in the garden. After that, if we were harvesting we'd spend a few hours cutting beans, shelling peas or helping Mom otherwise prep for preserving the food we'd harvested.
Learning to read music was another thing. Music was very important in our family. Each child was to learn to read music and play the piano. While all of the kids put up some kinds of battle against practicing the piano, I'm pretty sure I was the worst. I didn't enjoy piano in the least bit. Mom would battle with each of us kids each day to get in our 30 minutes of practicing. I'm just now realizing this, but with five kids, that makes a lot of battling each day. This was so important to Mom that we couldn't settle for any piano teacher. We went to Mrs. Pierce up in East Ogden each week for our lessons. This made quite the chore for Mom, but also quite the afternoon. We knew that that day each week we would be picked up from school and driven up to Mrs. Pierce's house and we'd be there for our 30 minute lesson. Mrs. Pierce was a saint. We all loved her and she loved us. She was a great teacher and took us through all of the mechanics of piano. This didn't stop in junior high for most of the kids. I put up a stink and finally my ninth grade year (we started taking lessons around age five it seems like) I was able to come to an agreement with Mom and Dad that I could quite taking piano lessons if I would pass off all of the hymns in the Hymn Book to Dad.
Mom was a stickler for a clean house. She grew up living in a not-so-clean house and I think her desire for a clean house stemmed from that. We had job lists posted in each room. These lists described the tasks that were required to properly clean that room. It included step-by-step instructions of how to complete each of those tasks. Each child was assigned a room to take care of as part of his/her weekly chores. In addition to the chores, each child was responsible to keep their room up to Mom's cleanliness standards. Each week, we completed a list of tasks in preparation for Mom's room inspection. She'd come through each week with a checklist of things that had to be completed in our rooms. We were graded on each of those tasks and given a score on how clean our room was according to those standards. The person with the highest score was given some kind of prize. If you didn't complete the tasks to a certain percentage, you were asked to redo the tasks. The only discipline included in these tasks was that you had no privileges whatsoever until the jobs were completed to Mom's approval.
I'm not sure there was ever any discipline around eating. But, I know we were asked to eat everything on our plate. One night in particular, Mom had made split-pea soup. As I recall it, it was a slimy green mess with chunks of something in it and it smelled kind of funny. I did not like split-pea soup - I do now for some reason (Mom would say my taste buds have matured). I put up quite the stink on not eating it. I sat there on my stool at the bar for hours until I finally gobbled the slimy mess down. The kitchen had all been cleaned up and everyone had settled down for the night before I finally put it down.
Each child was given a night to complete the dinner dishes. It was convenient that there were five kids. I think on Saturday and Sunday everyone helped out for the most part. Seems like someone was given Sunday off for some kind of reward - probably related to completing other chores the best that week. As in all other areas of the room, in the kitchen there was also a list of tasks to complete and how to complete them to get the kitchen properly cleaned.
I don't recall every being disciplined as one would think of disciplining. I know I received a few spankings and was sent to my room a few times. I know that I was given limits and boundaries. I don't recall any discipline that came when I disobeyed those boundaries. For the most part, I think I was fairly obedient to my parents. Though they might not have thought so when I was growing up, I had quite a bit of respect for my parents and I didn't want to disappoint them, though I can think of numerous time when I most likely did disappoint them. Mom ran a house of order and Dad backed her up 100 percent. I knew what was expected of me and I knew that I would be able to do mostly whatever I wanted if I completed those things.
I also knew what our standards were. It was not acceptable to go outside of those standards. Mom laid down the law with television and video games. At one point we were allowed one show each week that we could watch. That is one show. Not the same show each day of the week, but one slot (30 minutes of programming) that we could watch. We could share that with our brothers and sisters, but outside of that the television was off. It was quite similar with video games, though I don't recall what the standard was set to on the games. These things fell behind homework and the previously mentioned chores. If you didn't have your jobs done before your chosen program came on, you'd miss out on the program for that week - no exceptions.
When Mom thought that something was in line with the gospel standards that we were taught, she'd step in and fix it. Sometimes there was a prodding that helped us fix it, other times she just took care of cleaning her house while we were gone during the day. I recall coming home from my mission and having most of my music collection being missing. I looked around my boxes for weeks, accused Ryan and Alisha of taking my things numerous times - I even looked through their rooms when they were gone. I eventually found some of them under Mom's bed and I'm sure the others were properly disposed of. Mom put up quite the defense line for her kids against the little ways that Satan tried to squeeze into our lives. She wasn't very popular for it, but she knew it was right, so she did it.
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